5 AM
by Lightning And Blossoms
Summary: He can feel his pulse rampant at his throat so tight that he imagines it blocking his throat and him suffocating with the last images of his nightmare; not from fear, but for other emotions. He's shaken.


_**Important!** I don't even know how to explain what I need to explain now... Basically around July 2011 or so, I made myself a personal goal. The goal was that I'll make up and write 50 Alex Rider Fan Fictions. __I have three other Alex Rider Fan Fictions, and two of them are a part of this personal goal (A Different Day In The SAS and The Occupation Jeopardy). This is actually my THIRD fanfiction in this personal 50-Alex-Rider-Fanfics. I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know in a review._

_**Warning**: This story has content that's very serious and sensitive context._

**5 A.M. **

_There's only silence. Alex knows there's something happening; but there's only silence. He's in the desert. With silence. And a gun. He looks around- and only sees Alan Blunt, sobbing._

_He walks over._

_"Who are you?"_

_Alex swallows, "I'm not sure anymore."_

_Blunt nods, looking in to the dirt. "I don't know how I got here."_

_Alex stares at Blunt for what feels like a long time._

Alex reflects on that part of his nightmare the most. It's the nightmare he has just second ago- of course, that's not the whole of his nightmare... His nightmares are always disturbing, to extent- and with similar meanings, if he ever really thought much on it.

The blond doesn't need to calm his breathing. This morning, he had woken up, distressed- already in tears, but not scared. He can feel his pulse rampant at his throat so tight that he imagines it blocking his throat and him suffocating with the last images of his nightmare; not from fear, but for other emotions. He's shaken. Sometimes Alex wakes up this way and that in itself panics him: because he doesn't want to change for the worse. He doesn't want to forget about his past, or not care. The distance of countries make it hard to feel as though everything didn't even happen, enough already.

Alex doesn't want to lose his sanity, his peace, his hope. He doesn't want to go numb because...

Because...

A fresh trail of tears flows down his cheek.

_Blunt stands up. His monotone back, even though he looks like he's going to cry. "Mrs. Jone is waiting for me... There's an issue going on in-"_

_"Africa?" Alex doesn't know how he knows this information. _

_But Blunt doesn't seem surprised. He continues, "Somebody's being killed. I don't care who- but... I'm here and..." He trails off, staring around. "Do you hear somebody screaming?" His grey eyes look back at Alex, with a tentive squint._

_Alex shakes his head. "No."_

_"Very well... Who are you, again?"_

_"I-" You destoryed me, Alex thinks. But the words cannot come out of his mouth. He pites the man in front of him._

_Blunt sighs. "Something's happening."_

_Alex nods. He can't get the feeling of fear off him. _

_"For God's sake, child; who are you?" Blunt finally explodes._

_Alex's mouth hangs open and he feels the weight of the gun in his hand start to make it's presence uncomfortably extremely known. "Alex-"_

_Then he hears a spinning of wheels. At the last moment, it all collapses together..._

_Blunt fixes his grey suit, a car starts traveling around the two males very fast. A sense of intense dread and remorse slams into Alex's chest as slowly a loud screeching makes it's way to Alex's ears. _

_"That doesn't sound like a car..." He whispers, mainly to himself as he doesn't notice Blunt's evil grin. _

_He blinks and suddenly he sees Jack's burnt, sobbing body in the speeding car, opening her mouth to Alex. He lifts his arm, subconsciously, and unaware that it was the hand with the gun in his hand. _

_Jack and Alex maintain eye contact as Blunt starts saying uncomprehendable whispers, aimed at Alex and then, all too fast at the last moment; he grabs Alex's gun and shoots him in the forehead. _

Alex's head spins when he stands up. It's dark. Completely dark- and he's willing to bet that it's 5 o'clock in the morning, because that's when he normally wakes up lately, no matter what time he goes to bed.

He hears the sobbing from his throat, rather than recognise it.

The door opens and he holds his breath, hoping not to be seen. He recognises Sabina in the dim light provided from the outside of the world of his room. She glances around and just when he thinks she's going to walk away, she says, "I... I had one."

Alex blinks, realising she could see him. His whole body still doesn't un-tense. He tries to swallow to clear his throat, but it only makes it worse. He knows he's looking at Sabina but for a second the whole present vanishes as he imagines his nightmare again. Then suddenly, he realises that Sabina's voice sounded hoarse.

"Had... what?" He asks, his voice sounding weirdly muffled.

She opens the door completely, her hand not letting go of the doorknob. Alex notices this and realises she needs support- she's been crying, or is going to cry. He wipes his right cheek, and hugs her, feeling like he was breaking down completely. His mind's gone numb as he tries to figure out how he's going to support and help Sabina this very second.

She steps back from Alex and walks around him, to sit on the bed. In her distress, she almost flys to the floor, only just managing to sit right on the edge of the bed. Alex sits down besides her, and puts his arm around her shoulders. He can't breathe properly- trying to hold his tears and sobs. Sabina doesn't seem to notice. She's seemed to calm down as she says, "are you okay, Alex? Really?"

Alex clears his throat.

Sabina seems to see this a reply as she says, "I just... You slit your throat open in my dream. After... yelling at me- that you hated me."

Alex couldn't respond. Scarily enough; he could imagine the scene vividly. It wasn't helping to calm himself down, at all.

Sabina lets out a shaky sigh. "I'm okay now. You just... It's better to feel you; right now."

Alex holds Sabina's shoulder tigther to signal his support. He's seeing his anger getting a hold on him- shooting himself in front of his eyes weeks ago- slitting his throat open in Sabina's dream- disconnecting whatever friendship he has with Sabina... Anger is a horrible thing, and what upsets Alex is the knowledge that he's holding onto a lot of it.

Sabina gets the wrong impression of Alex's behaviour towards her, asking, "what's going on? You're not speaking! What's happened?"

Alex cleared his throat again, shakily standing to his feet. He has to remind himself that Sabina's acting on edge because she herself had a nightmare seconds ago- _You've had worse, disturbing nightmares, _he tells himself. _Let it go... Your freaking out and it's not good for Sabina-_

The thought makes Alex only start sobbing again; remembering when Jack used to hug until he stopped crying- for anything- no matter how long he cried for. Sabina jumps to her feet at the sound. She doesnt know what to do, and in the end Alex flinches and says; "I need to... h-have a shower, Sabina."

She nods tightly.

"You'll be..."

"I'll be okay," she whispers.

**_~Lightning And Blossoms._**


End file.
